Thursday, April 23, 2015

It's been a long, strange trip

It's been a long time since I have updated things here. Life got complicated and messy and there wasn't as much to brag about, or there didn't seem so.  So I gave up posting photos, gave up sharing news and gave up celebrating the little events that, in our family, are sometimes huge milestones. 

These days it feels like I'm clutching the leash too tight. The kids and I walked to school today and, on the way home, I noticed that my hand was sore from my death grip on our flexi lead. As I walked further, I wondered if my spirit wasn't worn out from my death grip on everything else:  the laundry, the constant cleaning, running the kids here and there, cooking, my studio practice, the health problems of our dog, all the obligations as a wife and mother, especially the mother of a child with different abilities and challenges. It's too much for one person to manage. So, what do I do?  How do I rest my soul?  

Lately I have been contemplating running for the hills. It's a wonderful fantasy but not practical. Heavy drinking...ditto. Compulsive shopping?  I'm too practical. So what then?  What do I do?  I'm going to release my grip on one thing, just one. But choosing...that's hard. What do I let slide?

I'm going to think about that and get back to you...because I have lunch to make and four loads of laundry to fold. 

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